�Once god has set your feet upon the arduous task of
solitary contemplation, once you are lost to the
world with no one to guide you but a Job�s comforter
or builder from the tower of Babel, what could
be more disillusioning, Hallucinatory, more disquieting,
then to find your spiritual life languishing,
impatient, drying up, dying of thirst for an intimate
understanding, your prayers undermined by doubt,
your tongue itching, paralyzed, burned alive by
the unpronounceable and the incommunicable,
your concentration disrupted by it's own
feverish emanations which bombard you with chimeras,
fantasies, visions, discarded illusions, and obsessive
ideas, while your body refuses to go on,
jibs, bridles, sweats, froths at the mouth before
at last surrendering and letting itself go
exhausted falling down as if dead, dead to the world,
distracted, giddy, absent, buried in its own excrement,
exposed on the alter of sacrifice, secret victim,
or one crucified at the cross roads,
crushed, turned to dust, the dust that cements the
trampled paving stones, used up, wiped out,
split, and everything cracking, and everything crumbling
at the resurrection of the bones and of the
flesh ?� - Cendrars
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